as I tear through the celestial membrane
the goodness of it singes my tongue;
it touches the lump in my throat: a tumour
of tears I am unable to shed, and
hisses, dissolving what is left of my words
no longer human,
I howl at the full moon
ripping the night to shreds:
let the bitter shades of my soul
taint the picturesque sky
and those who cry mercy with blood
on their hands
can die.
In darkness and vacuum,
every breath you draw
substantiates the truth
that you tell; time drones
away with every heartbeat,
a clock you cannot defeat;
perhaps, only gravity
can save you now
only gravity
can liberate you
stop you from spinning
out of control
stop you from spinning
out of reach and
stop, stop you
from spinning
out
of this
world
I know the likes of you
your heart runs on human misery
pumps out adrenaline black as your soul
handing out scars like a pamphlet
tears like jelly-beans
blood like hello’s and good-bye’s
I know the likes of you
could taste you like a bad fruit
your reputation rolling on my tongue with a serpentine hiss
it burns to say your name
you’re not welcome here
not now, not ever
I know the likes of you
you’ll never quit until you’r half-dead and
half-sorry for what you’ve done
because
I know the likes of you
~
Dedicated to Percy Whetmore, from The Green Mile. Amazing novel + movie, by the way. I didn’t know Stephen King wrote the original serial novel. I just finished reading it and while getting through the story, I just wanted to beat the crap out of Percy. He’s such a vicious coward. And a bully. Oh yes he is, and he got what he deserved…
I
can no longer understand what a laugh is–
so dense and intricate
with meanings, it is impossible
to tell what it contains:
knives, marshmallows, acid, feathers and/or thorns.
Make one mistake and
you may end up chocking
for breath
on the floor, gurgling
blood,
eyes
shining
with
disbelief.
He found a bloody eclipse in her eyes,
dark orbs rimmed with crimson,
shining secrets beautifully and wonderfully sordid
that whispered of years and centuries and eons of things
beyond his existence, memories thick
enough to smother his soul. Gradually
he became lost, yet again,
inside the labyrinth of an impossible love,
hunted by the inscrutable darling of the night,
a diabolical creature so tender, so true,
so hard to touch and so beautiful. She danced
to the rhythm of his violent heartbeat,
consuming the scent of his terror
through her monstrous nostrils and
every time as he tried to rationalize desperately
their unorthodox romance, she would
fade into the shadows whence she came—
her smile branded, tattooed upon his flesh—
and vanish out of his reach.
I had a brief gothic phase for about one week or so, during which I once again fell in love with vampires. This is the product of my short-lived fervour. This reminds me of high school…I was completely gothic-minded and wrote about vampires, angels and demons all the time. I remember my creative writing teacher refusing to publish my poem about demon conjuring into the school anthology haha. I had to switch it with another poem that wasn’t blatantly evil. Heh heh heh heh heh.
Perfection through absolution:
Halved, with a profound and indispensable jealousy.
An insufferable displacement. From chaos, he
shall give birth to himself, stain his princely hands
with the blood of a condescending illusion constituted
of destruction, lost lives and scorched waste. His
own personal manifestation of reality, of unreality,
a dense web of lies, an estranged dimension of suspended
pain and diabolical joy. He lives in an inescapable paradox,
the only space for his existence; an exit and a dead end;
a loveless labyrinth; a complex, wretched architecture built
upon the darkness of his soul.
This is the Loki from the recent Marvel’s movie, Thor. I’m having a helpless crush on him, haha. And he’s such a fascinating villain to write about (and to adore hehe). He’s going to appear as the primary villain in next year’s Avengers movie, which I am seriously looking forward to. I just hope that the movie will be epic, because it has such a great character set: Loki, Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Black Widow, Hawkeye. What could go wrong, really? They’re the superheroes of our time. I just hope it won’t be ruined by a shitty plot, like Captain America, which I thought had great potential after seeing the trailer.
Anyway. I’m so busy these days *sob* I have to steal time to write my poetry. I make myself seem like a thief. But truly it’s my midterms and papers that are stealing my pleasures from me…just wait until I finish university. Ha! Then I’m going to be a full-time couch-potato for a year, just to make up all the time in which I didn’t slack off properly. Mwahahahahahaha.
They perch on the malleable architecture
of abducted dreams, agreeably dying, as
their faded wings tremoured against
colossal winds and unconquerable odds.
In great trepidation, they watch the phantoms of
intractable yesterdays populate
the world of what-might-have-been’s and
weep incessantly for their deliberate silence
that has now grown deeper, deep enough
to castigate their tarnished souls with
an inexplicable dark magic, but not yet
deep enough to wake them from their
own personal nightmares. They fear
to realize what they have come to realize,
and they shall never admit that fear.
They have forgotten how to choose
for themselves in their violent attempts to
choose for others. They have unlearned
their abilities to look for answers within.
Over the inane centuries of
misplaced passions and self-generated
righteousness—all properly
cleansed, modified and justified—the
Lost Angels know not who they are,
who they had once been, or who they
will become, for the Lost Angles know
just one thing and one thing only
and that is what they think they want.
For years I have struggled from
the indispensability of your words and
this endless resistance has left me
deranged, breathless in a perpetual vertigo.
As I immerse myself in your
indisputable wisdom, I am awash with the
light from your tear-spilled eyes that are
shining with dreams that I used to dream
You stare at me, unblinking, with profound
intention, like a sad, musing raven,
like an unexpected judgement.
.
I turn away with a jolt of heartache,
And the black inertia, with its venomous teeth,
devours me from the inside.
I have no choice but to rage
with every cell of my being
to pursue a life that does not involve
your innocence and your love
so I can prevent you from being stained
by the dark parasites living deep
down inside the shadows of my soul.
.
So I tread on glassy roads and I
tremble from the steps that I take
and I break
away from your angellic wings
your beautiful vulnerability
and seek desperately a place
a place where I will never be found
to keep you safe.
Tonight when the clock strikes twelve, it’s your turn to be afraid
You hold me in your arms, because you can’t stand being alone
I let my eyes rest, counting the shadows in your dreams
Shadows shaped like hands in a nightmarish breeze
Frantically reaching
Those awkward grabs in the muggy air satisfy me
I have found a new way to be happy
.
They’re coming for you
.
This is not what you’re hoping to hear
You lower your gaze and take a look at the mess beside our feet
Pieces of my heart shattered, scattered, littered
Everywhere on the living room floor, where we first made love
And also where pleads and mockeries congeal
Rolling back and forth on their bellies
Becoming indistinguishable as a chunk of goo
Like a deformed, melting baby
.
This is your moment
.
Your moment of glory. Days ago you reached out to me with your words
Blood trickled down my numb, zombie-face
A blade stuck in my left ear, etched in flesh
While our broken love fought its way in, deadly and corrosive
I had failed to defend myself from this unexpected infestation.
.
I love you.
.
I think I understand what an apocalypse feels like now
I have learned how easily a world can end
It’s you leaving me, and it’s as simple and as childish as that
That makes you a good teacher, though you’re not that much of a learner
Which is why you will never understand the jolt of pain in your chest when I slap you across the cheek
You will never understand the anger you feel when I call you a dog-hearted bastard
You will never realize the way your nails curl inward and scoop up your flesh, a shitload of blood gushing out
Even if you’ve seen it coming, you won’t be able to prevent it
You will never find that time bomb I have placed inside of your kidney, which will explode in precisely fifteen seconds
Taking me with you, though I’m already gone
Note: This is not based on personal experience. I do have an ex but I did not plant a time bomb inside of his kidney. Okay, maybe he is stupid, because all ex’s are, but let me just declare my total detachment and non-involvement in the emotions and actions described above. I am merely experimenting with a dark, psychotic voice. And to those of you who’ve been reading my poetry for a while…you’ve probably noticed I’m a pretty dark person LOL but only in my literature, not in real life. Thanks to all of my regular readers ❤ I don’t have a big circle of readership, but I really appreciate the ones who come to my blogs and read my poems.
From Kim, with lots of love, and why am I babbling about this I do not know. 😀
P.S. Oh and yes, I know it’s physically impossible to plant a bomb in somebody’s kidney…it’s more of a metaphorical thing. 😀
Eventually
Darkness spilled in from the windows of our houses
Our dreams became the splinters in our mind
And every time we tried to wash the blood off our hands
We scraped off skins, muscles and cells
But we were rotten to the bones
Endless darkness, down down down to our very core
There it was, the curse of the devil gnawing at the our heart
Our ability to love
.
Eventually
We offered forgiveness to those who offered something in return
We performed charities only we had something to gain
We loved only when we were loved more
And we cried and complained when we weren’t love enough
.
Eventually
We had overcome that darkness
We had thoroughly absorbed it and made it our own
Darkness had become us as we lived in light.
.
Eventually, we are light.
Somewhere Nowhere in My Kingdom 