grief always finds its way back

I realized you were
never coming back
for the twenty seventh time;
I held your smiles, held
them against my palm
feeling their soft ruffles
with my skin, fingering
their soft crease
I let them go again
knowing that they no
longer belonged to me:
they belong with you
and you belong to the sky
and the sky belongs to no man,
no one; and there is no one
in the sky when I look
each time I look
every time I look
no matter how hard
I look

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a fable: a knight (who isn’t a knight)

once, he fought against those fingers
slender, insect-like; more strength
in those misleading knuckles
than they appeared

it had been too late
when he felt the murderous
threads, cold legs of obsidian
closing about his neck;
there concluded his knighthood
for a knight was no longer a knight
the moment his princess was

alone and asleep, caught
in the web of lies
waiting for dawn
waiting for the first
glimpse of light

and though he knew
for the sheer love he had for her
he would die and return again
the hurt he felt each time
-thorned promises of
chivalry denied-
still made his tearless
body contort
and bend

but this
this he defied
defied for the promise of her
embrace, the thunderous
heartbeat that was music
to his ears

and this
this pain he defied
with sheer strength of soul
for the awakening of his
much beloved, who
stared him in the face
with eight of her eyes

the past is

the fabled storm
that touches Poseidon’s
trident is soft, yet electric
and the last ship that has sailed
rides atop the roars
of the Sea God,
hours and days lost
in their currents
and while I know
the radiant wind pushing
against the mast
blows only one direction
I can’t help but look back
a single tear caresses
and escapes my shoulder
I miss you
I miss you still
but the last ship that has sailed
rides atop the roars of the Sea God
hours and hours and days lost
in a different tomorrow

my heart returns to me

like a long lost child,
my heart returns to me
bewildered and teary-eyed
her little hands trembling
her legs aching from running
after her kite

so I held her close, and
told her not to cry;
she fell into my embrace
and said to me, “Naw,
it is quite alright, for
that was a good run,
and I got to fly.”

then I kissed her forehead
as she curled into a ball
of soft sighs
as my lips touched
the starry galaxy shining
in her eyes

how meticulously you counted the holes in the moon

how meticulously you counted
the holes in the moon
how you measured the crater
while between your eyes
the future burrowed
and as the eerie light gently fell
–strands and waves of silver–
on our skin, you shivered from
its ghostly touch and I
took you by the hand
to draw you closer,
to show you the beautiful pale secrets
strewn across the goddess of the night
were treasures that answered
your prayers, were answers
to the questions that you cast
the day before, a long time ago,
and just now in your mind
towards the embrace
of the stars
and the open sky

Catching the future by the teeth

desires unfold like
a kaleidoscope without patterns
colours and shapes argue
against a white backdrop
an eerie light settles like
dust in a house unentered

it is a fool’s errand
to bite off a piece of tomorrow
the irregularly shaped orb sits
like sandpaper in my throat;
any second now–
dreams might shatter
and stars might fall

–find me.
Find me, find me.
unearth me like treasure.
see me again and again
with wonder in your eyes–

With wonder in your eyes.