a sudden but anticipated tragedy

sadness_by_rockthenations

sometimes even a jug of
orange juice can tear through
your sense of self,
a searing hole opening up
dragging you down like quicksand,
and you gasp for air as
long-buried memories escape
like poisonous gas from
the blistered chasm, and
you descend into that
long forgotten pit of darkness
too sudden for tears to be shed

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Soultracks

My heart holds an intractable

enigma; it sustains me like

oxygen, and its futures, already

written, proliferate inside of me:

strands of genetic codes, what I

already have, what I already know,

an impression branded upon

the feverish mind. It unpeels itself

from a shining cocoon, secrets

whispered to me like warm

breaths across my cheek. It

reminds me to look within, into the

pool of answers that are waiting

to be claimed. It reminds me

of my highest right, what I’m

really here for. Here it

lies naked before me, unashamed, and

welcomes me to tread on its soultracks

laid down like destinies. Yes,

this is the way. There is no other way.

Why am I lost, when all I need

to do is

keep listening

you have all you need to know

and all you need to do

is

.

Shhhhhhhhh.

 

Lost again

Seized and terrorized by doubt again,

I bend down and hide in my stream

of consciousness, holding my thoughts

close to my chest, hugging them like a pillow,

seeking comfort from the unexpected

labyrinth of life where

I tread and drag my chained legs in

dread, trying to figure out what on Earth

I should do

with the multiple realities unfolding

before me, growing larger, becoming

a full-fledged organism, its membranes

writhing into demoniacal existence and I

fail

to satisfy it with my

dwindling self-worth

and I

am

paralyzed

once more

by the choices I have to make

and I waver

in the face of

my uncertain future,

staring down at me like

God’s wrath

and so with no immediate solution I

resolve to this

poetic rant, an emergency exit

for my lost soul and a temporary

cure

to life’s indecisions.

Invasion

Emptiness sounds its battle horns.

Things start to get lost.

Collateral damage.

A thin layer of warmth lingers on the edge of the chair.

May have been someone you have loved.

An unfinished message dries up on the ghetto walls.

The red paint bleeds into oblivion.

The wind ignores the corner of a street.

The wind never looks back.

The bird gulps back its sweet melody.

Rips its own stomach. No regrets.

The car honks; the road shuts its melancholy ears.

Rush hours. It can’t take it anymore.

Greyness, seeps deep down into a man’s pores.

Bleaches the soul with painless acid.

A heart gives up living, but keeps on beating.

At night, it dreams of a quietly fading world.

Babam. Babam.

Emptiness sounds its battle horns.

Babam. Babam. Babam.

Babam.
.

By Kim T.

Disbelief

(I switched theme! This is actually the very very first one I used when I first started blogging. Thanks again to my regular readers, you guys are awesome + awesome + awesome and always make me feel that my writing, through this intricate web of random connections and technology, has reached someone and gone somewhere…I can’t describe it but it’s one of the few things that make me feel writing is worthwhile. So thanks again!!! ❤ ❤ <3)

 

There was a time when I still believed in dreams

Those days when I paved my path with my pen

But all this time I’d been stabbing myself in the chest

The nib slicing across my atriums

My arteries, my pulsating chambers of

Black bitter secrets

Ink smearing my passionate blood like venom

Only to have my heart broken late,

My eyes weighted down with incapability,

Shadowed with a powerlessness,

And the wind mock me in the cold.

.

There was a time when I still believed in dreams.

It was a time when my childish aspirations

Consumed me with a burning insatiability

When I bathed myself in an unfamiliar pride

Beyond recognition and self-knowledge

.

There was  a time when I believed in dreams

Dreams of silly precognitions

And retarded prophecies

Dreams that made me believe that one day

I could be a magician

“What had gotten into you?” I asked myself.

.

And I answered,

“Me.”

And I prayed for a sign.

Castle of Dreams

The castle of dreams is built

Built on my heart

Built by the hands of the ticking clock

The ancient vines cascade down

From the highest window

Purified by the stains of rain

The raindrops that kiss my eyelids

That tell me to wake up from this world

.

I remember those red bricks

Hugging each other with their bloody arms

Wet with my tears

I used them to build my castle walls

Only to cast a shadow

A sea of shadows

A sea of pain

It’s too late now.

.

I am lost

Locked out of my castle door

When I close my eyes I can feel the teardrops

Dancing on my eyelash

The wind whispers to me but I can’t

Can’t understand a word it’s saying

Because I can no longer see

What my future is going to be

.

Lost in my life; I am lost

The wings on my back

They shrink and wither and hurt me with their stillness

The wind whispers to me but I can’t

Can’t understand a word it’s saying

Because I can no longer see

What my future is going to be

What my future is going to be.

Suspended in clouds.

Suspended in clouds

Those icy cottons run through your fingers

They are soft like the wind

But they hold you gentler than any wind

 

They way they hold you

They hold you like a mother

Like a lover

Their words are leaves slowly changing colour

 

Everything is so splendid

The sun is bright but it doesn’t hurt your eyes

Beneath you, it is raining

But you are

Suspended in clouds

You hear the raindrops collide with earth

Each tiny drop building on top of another

Like nature’s popcorn

 

The sky is dark

But you are suspended

In clouds

Floating, like an astronaut in space

Spinning, spinning

You’re up in the sky

Suspended in clouds

 

But how is it that

Your heart is just as grey

The vastness around you brings out that inevitable void

An unexpected emptiness

A tired expression

Cold, pale hands shivering imperceptibly

The world rotates around you

 

Your mouth is closed

A song stuck in your throat

Dissolves into black ink

Overflowing

Leaking out of your pores in slow motion

While you are

Suspended in clouds

 

Except now you’re surrounded by black silky ribbons

The light shines through and rests on your skin

Makes you sad

That liquid song still leaking out of you

The world beneath you is still raining

There might have been the sound of thunder

But you can’t hear anything

Can’t feel anything except

Yourself disappearing

Fading away

 

While you are

Suspended in clouds.